Practices to Cultivate Resilience

~ Sheri Thibeau, Registered Psychologist

Developing your resilience can increase your ability to face life’s inevitable bad times. How do you build a practice that works for you?

Life is full of challenges. Being human is difficult. We all experience pain, stress, adversity, tragedy, and loss. One way we can learn to ride the waves of pain and challenge—instead of drowning in the upheaval—is through building resilience.

Psychologists define resilience as the ability to thrive in the face of adversity. Some think it is an innate characteristic, possessed by a select few. However, anyone can learn and cultivate resilience.

Developing resilience is a unique and personal process. Each of us has different skills and qualities, so try out a variety of strategies and practice what works best for you. Here are several strategies you can start with:

● Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion involves addressing your own suffering with empathy and kindness. This can be challenging. One way to practice self-compassion is to consider how you would offer support to a friend in the same situation and write yourself a letter saying those things.

●  Practice self-care. Self-care is practicing the behaviours that make you feel better—in the long run. So, self-care is more like sweating it out at the gym when you feel like sitting in your PJs on the couch. Positive practices for self-care include eating nutritious foods, drinking lots of water, engaging in physical activity, maintaining good sleep habits, sticking to your budget, and getting outside daily.

●  Practice relaxation. Relaxation techniques can lessen stress and help you settle into rest mode. Practices include meditation and breathwork. When we are stressed, we tend to breathe very shallowly or even hold our breath. By taking a normal in-breath and making sure the out-breath is long and controlled, we signal to ourselves that we are safe.

●   Practice connection. Positive social connection is essential for our physical and psychological well-being, especially in times of adversity. Connecting face-to-face with empathetic people who listen and offer support alleviates the isolation that occurs with stress or trauma. Alternatively, connecting over Skype, Zoom, Messenger, phone, or text are great ways to stay connected with loved ones during the pandemic.

● Practice focusing. Focusing your attention on the present interrupts your thoughts and decreases stress. Take time to really watch the sunset, notice the sound of your cat purring, perceive your favorite smell, or appreciate how fruit tastes.

●  Practice gratitude. Gratitude helps shift our attention away from our pain and widens our perspective. Keep a gratitude journal or try a gratitude challenge with a friend by texting each other something you are grateful for each day for 10 days.

●  Practice curiosity. Curiosity adds meaning to our lives and offers a wider lens to view the world. Explore what fascinates you. Do things you have never tried before. Be fully present with others. Ask questions. Be willing to be wrong. Learn something new. 

●   Practice playfulness. Playfulness decreases stress and increases positive feelings such as joy and vitality. Be silly, smile, laugh, sing, dance, play with your pets, have a game night, joke around, watch comedies.

Developing resilience helps protect you from feeling overwhelmed and helps you maintain your psychological balance, especially while navigating high school or post-secondary in extraordinary circumstances. Resilience is emotional currency, providing strength, determination, and a more positive outlook when it is needed the most.

About the Author

Sheri Thibeau is a Registered Psychologist at It Takes Practice Counselling Services in Red Deer. It Takes Practice Counselling Services offers counselling and assessment services for children, teens, adults, seniors, couples, families, and groups.