Breaking the Silence: Men’s Mental Health, Stigma, and Surviving the Holidays

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. Yet, for many men, especially those navigating separation, divorce, or loneliness, this time of year can feel anything but festive. The emotional landscape of the holidays is complex, marked by heightened expectations, memories of traditions lost, and the sharp ache of absence. For men who are separated from partners or children, or who find themselves alone, the season can amplify feelings of grief, anger, and isolation. These emotions are not just fleeting discomforts; they are reflections of a broader crisis in men’s mental health. 

Research indicates that there is a significant decline in men’s mental health across Canada, with more men than ever reporting high levels of stress, depression and social isolation. Half of Canadian men now lack sufficient social support, and 67% have never sought professional mental health services. The holidays, with their emphasis on family and connection, can make these struggles even more acute, turning what should be a season of warmth into one of silent suffering. 

Understanding and addressing the unique challenges men face during the holidays is not just a matter of seasonal well-being; it is a critical component of public health. By breaking the silence around men’s mental health, challenging stigma, and fostering resilience, we can help men not only survive but find meaning and hope during the most difficult times. 

The State of Men’s Mental Health

According to the 2025 Canadian Men’s Foundation research, 64% of Canadian men report moderate-to-high levels of stress, and 23% are at risk of moderate-to-severe depression. Perhaps most concerning, half of all men are at risk for social isolation, a risk that climbs to 73% among men who live alone. Help-seeking behaviours remain alarmingly low. 67% of men have never sought professional mental health support, despite experiencing significant distress. This reluctance is particularly pronounced among younger men, racialized men and those living alone. 

Suicide remains a devastating outcome of untreated mental health issues. In 2022, there were 4,850 suicide deaths in Canada, approximately 13 per day. Men account for nearly 75% of these deaths, with suicide rates among males almost three times higher than among females. Middle-aged adults (aged 30-59) are at the highest risk. Particularly vulnerable groups of men include sexual minority men, Indigenous men, military personnel, veterans and first responders. 

Loneliness emerges as both a symptom and a driver of poor mental health. Nearly one in two men feels socially isolated, and this sense of disconnection is linked to increased rates of depression, anxiety and suicide. The erosion of traditional support networks, due to economic pressures, remote work, and declining participation in community groups, has left many men without the connections they need. 

The research paints a clear picture that men in Canada are facing a mental health crisis, which is exacerbated by social isolation, stigma, and reluctance to seek help. The holiday, with its focus on connection and family, can make these struggles even more pronounced, highlighting the urgent need for compassionate support and systemic change. 

Understanding Stigma

Stigma remains one of the most formidable barriers to men’s mental health. It operates on multiple levels, each reinforcing the silence and isolation that so many men experience. 

Public stigma refers to the negative attitudes, stereotypes and discrimination that society directs toward individuals with mental health challenges. In the context of men’s mental health, public stigma is deeply intertwined with traditional notions of stoicism, self-reliance, and emotional control. Men are often socialized to believe that expressing vulnerability and seeking help is a sign of weakness. Media portrayals and cultural narratives reinforce these beliefs, discouraging men from acknowledging their struggles or reaching out for support. 

Self-stigma occurs when men internalize these societal messages, leading to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and self-criticism. This, in turn, leads to increased stress and poor mental health outcomes. Men may view their own distress as a personal failing, further compounding their reluctance to seek help. 

Treatment stigma involves the fear of being judged or discriminated against for accessing mental health services. Men may worry that seeking therapy or taking medication will be seen as an admission of weakness, or that it will threaten their autonomy and sense of control. 

A consequence of stigma is the phenomenon of masking. Masking refers to the act of concealing one’s genuine emotions and vulnerabilities behind a facade of strength and composure. Men may present as “fine” on the outside while struggling deeply on the inside, driven by the belief that they must be “strong” and handle problems alone. While this may offer short-term protection from vulnerability, it often leads to chronic isolation, disconnection, and worsening mental health. 

Stigma not only discourages help-seeking behavior, but it also fosters unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance use, risk-taking, or emotional withdrawal that can exacerbate mental health challenges. Stigma also undermines identity and connection, making it harder for men to form authentic relationships and access the support they need. 

Breaking this stigma requires a cultural shift. It means redefining strength to include vulnerability, empathy, and the courage to seek help. 

Holiday Stressors

The holidays, often idealized as a time of joy and togetherness, can be a minefield of stressors for men who are separated, divorced or living alone. The various elements that make the season special, family gatherings, traditions, and celebrations, can also magnify feelings of loss, inadequacy and isolation. 

Holidays can bring a painful sense of what has been lost. Traditions that once provided comfort and continuity may now feel out of reach, replaced by uncertainty and grief. The pressure to maintain a facade of normalcy for children or extended family can be overwhelming, especially when navigating new co-parenting arrangements or blended families. Custody arrangements, logistical challenges, and the need to coordinate with ex-partners can create tension and disappointment. The sense of being sidestepped or missing out on special moments can fuel feelings of inadequacy and guilt. 

Then there are the additional financial pressures that can present with the holidays. For men adjusting to single-income households or managing child support payments, expenses such as gifts, travel, special meals, and social events can be a significant source of stress. Financial worries may also limit opportunities for socializing or participating in cherished traditions, deepening the sense of exclusion. 

Social media and cultural narratives amplify the pressure to present a “perfect” holiday experience. Seeing curated holiday images can intensify feelings of inadequacy and loneliness, especially for men whose reality does not match the ideal. The erosion of traditional support, due to divorce and separation, can leave men feeling disconnected and unsupported. 

Coping & Building Resilience

While the holidays can be challenging, there are practical, evidence-based strategies that men can use to manage stress, build resilience, and find meaning during this season. These approaches are not about “fixing” emotions or achieving perfection, but honouring one’s experience, fostering connection, and taking small intentional steps towards well-being. 

1. Acknowledging and Accepting Feelings: 

Understanding that your emotions are legitimate rather than suppressing and diminishing them. Take time to notice and name your feelings, whether it is sadness, anger or loneliness, without judgment. Remind yourself that these emotions are normal responses to difficult circumstances. Share your feelings with a friend, family member or support group. Even brief, honest conversations can reduce the burden of isolation and create space for empathy and understanding. 

2. Redefine traditions: 

This is an opportunity to make new sources of meaning and joy. If old rituals are no longer possible or feel painful, you can consider: 

• Starting a new holiday meal tradition (even if it is pizza for dinner)

• Plan a memorable trip (even if it is a local event or a walk in nature)

• Invite a friend or extended family to join in the new celebrations 

• Create rituals of remembrance for loved ones who are absent. 

Traditions are meant to serve you, not the other way around. Give yourself permission to let go of whatever no longer brings you comfort or connection. 

3. Manage expectations:

The holidays do not have to be perfect, and it is okay if things feel different or quieter this year. Release the pressure to meet every demand or create a curated holiday celebration. Focus on small, meaningful moments rather than grand gestures. 

4. Volunteer or Help Others:

Engaging in community service or acts of kindness can foster connection and purpose, while shifting focus outward. Giving back not only benefits the community but also fosters a sense of purpose, belonging, and improved mental health. Connection is a powerful antidote to loneliness, and even small acts of reaching out can make a difference. 

5. Avoid social media comparisons and set digital boundaries: 

• Setting intentional boundaries around social media use. 

• Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger negative emotions

• Engage in real-world activities and savor meaningful moments, rather than getting lost in the digital scroll. 

6. Practice self-care: 

• Sleep: Maintain a consistent sleep schedule to support mood and energy.

• Nutrition: Eat balanced meals and stay hydrated; limit excessive sugar and alcohol, which can worsen mood swings.

• Movement: Incorporate regular physical activity, even if it’s just a daily walk.

• Mindfulness and relaxation: Use breathing exercises, grounding techniques, or brief moments of quiet to regulate stress.

• Rest: Build in breaks and moments of rest, especially during busy or emotionally charged days.

• Seek professional help: 

  
  

Sometimes self-care and support are not enough. Persistent sadness, irritability, sleep problems, or thoughts of suicide are signs that professional support may be needed. Therapy is not a sign of weakness; it is a proactive step toward healing and growth. Many men say that working with a counsellor or psychologist provides a safe, confidential space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and build resilience. 

IF you are struggling, reach out. There are resources and professionals ready to support you. 

Final Thoughts

If you are feeling grief, anger, or loneliness this holiday season, know that you are not alone. These emotions are not signs of weakness or failure; they are natural human responses to loss, change and the pressure of the season. The expectation to “move on” can be isolating, but true strength lies in acknowledging your feelings, reaching out for support, and allowing yourself to heal in your own way. 

It is okay to grieve what has been lost, to feel anger at circumstances beyond your control and to long for connection. It is also OK to create new traditions, set boundaries, and prioritize your own well-being. Seeking help, whether from friends, family, support groups, or professionals, is not a sign of weakness; it is an act of courage and self-respect. 

As we move through the holidays and into a new year, let us commit to breaking the silence around men’s mental health. Let us challenge stigma, support one another, and build communities where every man feels seen, heard, and valued. Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope in connection. 

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 for immediate support.

Help is available, and you deserve to be heard.